In that Moment

In that Moment
“Understanding born from sorrow”
By
Mor`Inanna Eaglesong © Dec. 27, 2008

I’ve always had a strange understanding of death, as if I was drawn to the truth of it. It leads us to a path of uncommon real emotions, dancing in the darkness of our own heart and soul. But beneath that darkness, under the pain of not fully understanding is a beauty. A beauty beyond human believes, our emotions block the beauty of that moment, the moment the spirit leaves the weight of the human body. I’ve always believed that magick and science tend to walk hand in hand and we are all energy in motion weighted down by the human body, or mass of self. Our spirit is energy, our body is mass allowing us to walk amongst each other and learn from sight and touch of each other. To grow from human emotions most of tend to keep buried depth within, or avoid all together in life. Emotions like pain and suffering, heart ache and sorrow even anger, are just as powerful if not more powerful then the emotions we welcome such as love, light and laughter.
I was born with the gift of visions and dreams, most of which I tend to not understand until after the fact of that moment, but a few I understood instantly, born a Witch who was drawn to the darker side of life, and magick. While others danced in the light, I was drawn into the underworld by my deities and queens of darkness, I have journeyed to the tombs and surrendering of Inanna, and drank from Morrigan’s cauldron of death and rebirth. Now in darkest moment of a Mother’s life, a truth is born the truth of that moment.

A few years back I meet a woman on line named Jaycee, when I meet her she was well on her way to fighting the battle of breast cancer, and while I never meet her in person, our connection was so strong. Instantly we both knew we were drawn together to learn and grow from each other, her journey to death taught me about my life path.
I was with her every step of the way, from a distance but so very close in spirit. The vision I had of her death was so undeniably beautiful it was breath taking. The moment her spirit would leave the weight and the unbearable pain of her human body would be an amazing sight to behold. A micro burst of energy blast forth into the universe, filled with amazing sparkles of every color known to man. I had the pleasure of sharing this vision with her before her death, and then to have the gift of a tiny voice whisper in my ear, I was right its just like I told her it would be, amazing and beautiful so amazing that no humanly words could even begin to explain the beauty of that moment.

Then a few short months ago, the dream came to me, at the time I did not make the connection. But now 2 months and 12 days later which is also my physical birth date of 02/12, in the early dawn hours, awaken by an amazing thunder storm in Dec. I understand that moment fully. The dream was different I dreamt of standing on a porch and watching lightening strike a wire, watching it spin widely with colors, colors similar to the vision I had a few years back, but the connection between the two was not yet clear. The energy was amazing and I was not afraid, I was drawn to the sight of it, its beauty and power flowed through the wire down to a corner, and turned the corner and I knew it would hit a near by transformer box, I was not afraid of its power, I was drawn to it. The moment it struck the transformer box it burst into spinning circles of lights, lights of every color know to man, it was amazing and beautiful, yet I did not understand the message. Until this moment, the moment of this early morning dawn awaking to the strange December thunder storm. When I knew I had the vision of death, and it was not dark and something to fear or be saddened by, but that moment in time when the energy of our spirit, leaves the mass of our human body behind is one of the most amazing moments in time. That moment when our spirit is returned to its natural state of pure untamed energy. Energy flowing freely in the universe continuing on its journey of helping and healing of others.

My son James wrote a poem years ago, and the very last line is “where can a man go when the straight line curves.” It is also my son Jamie as I always called him, which became that dream. That beautiful array of pure energy burst forth into the universe in that moment of his death. His death was caused by a car coming around a curve, and hitting them head on. The connection to the dream is crystal clear now, I saw his death coming, and did not make the connection until this moment in time. When true understanding was born, in this very moment, these moments of darkness filled with sorrow beyond believe, and the depths of emotions we tend to avoid.

We are truly energy, and our body is the mass. The truths of science are connected to the spiritual understanding of our being. That moment in time, when our energy leaves behind the earthly weight of our body, is a moment of amazement beyond human understanding, leaving behind the feelings of emotions we tend to avoid, or those emotions we have the hardest time walking through. But born from those emotions, is an understanding, a gift of my life time to truly know without a doubt why I was drawn to the darkness and emotions others tend to avoid. Because from my own path, my own depths of sorrow and this walk on earth I was given the gift, the gift of truly understanding the connections of life and death. The connection between body and spirit; we do not die, we just transform into a more natural state of being, we return to the universe as energy, just as we arrived. I would not trade those visions, and understanding; to have seen the beauty of that moment not once but twice for all the happiness and joy in the humanly world. For it is through my own darkness and depths of sadness that this gift was born. While I will journey on and still miss the physical presence of my son, his energy is with me always, protecting me and guiding me until my own moment in time.

A Tribute to Jamie(James) Booe